10/19/05 - In a very tired state after a sad series of events

Why do I have such an intense hatred of religion? Is it my natural distaste of authority and rules? Is it the long use of it to control the populous? Is it the feeling that it is a crutch for the feeble-minded? Is it the fact that it just doesn't make any sense to me? Is it the fact that it diminishes the great achievements of great people? I don't know the real answer and it is my thoughts that I am considering here. Let me take these points and expound upon them.

I have always had an issue of one sort or another with various forms of authority and the rules it sets and enforces. In short, I've never liked anyone else telling me what it is that I should and should not do no matter how much that particular rule makes sense. Just the thought of others making decisions for me sends chills down my spine and not in a good way. More like when you're walking down a dark, isolated road in the middle of the night after watching a horror movie and seeing someone unexpectedly walking towards you. Really creepy. It's kind of strange though since there aren't many rules that I ever go out of my way to break or feel that I'd even want to. This includes the rules established by the various religions of the world. I grew up in the Catholic church and I remember that it all seemed like a big game. I hated getting up early on Sunday morning but I also knew that there would be dough nuts after we put our hour of standing, kneeling and sitting exercises in. To this day I still don't 'get' the whole church service thing. You sit and chant, stand and sing the refrain of a really bad song, then listen to a sermon that if you're lucky sounds like a third-rate self-help book. I have no idea what the allure is here. All I can see is a waste of time, especially since I know I can get dough nuts whenever I want now.

I've heard countless testimonials to the power of religion and the way it has impacted people's lives. It seems to me that people just short-change themselves when they create something positive in their own lives. It reminds me of the story of Dumbo where he believes he can fly because of some magic item but it turns out that the item wasn't magic at all and that it was he alone who accomplished this amazing feat of flight. You can also count me among the people who find it amazing when an athlete thanks God for a victory, and yes, especially boxers. Nobody on the losing side ever blames God for not pulling through for them. Is it because only people who believe either ever win and apparently never compete against on another? And what about the great advances in science that everyone enjoys? Especially the advances in things such as medicine. Is it because of a lot of hard-working and dedicated researchers? Or did God wake up on the right side of the bed one too many times? Of course he probably could have just given us something like Penicillin 5,000 years ago... But then again, his current incarnation wasn't even made known until about what? 700 years ago? I guess God only thinks well-developed nations get access to plentiful supplies of these now and in some cases only then if you're wealthy as well. I'm glad I wasn't born 701+ years ago because then I wouldn't even get to choose to go to heaven through belief after I die. Of course it wouldn't make much difference in my case obviously anyway.

Jury Duty

Ok, these are my notes from my day of Jury Duty!

There was only one cute girl out of the approximately 300 people who showed up. She had a big ass though and left when they called out the group for the first case (of three planned cases).

A group of about 15 people were excused and let go early as one of the trial's was cancelled.

@10:30am I've had a coffee (latte FTW!) and two cigarettes.

There is a McMenamins next door and I SO want a Dungeon Burger and a Hammerhead right now.

My preconceived notions about being bored and worrying about my car getting towed: Boredom- Spot on, Towage? Completely wrong.

I am curious about whether the Christian Broadcasting Network being on in the jury room violates anything though. It kind of makes me uncomfortable.

I'd be lying if I said that I couldn't believe that I left my phone at home because it is completely unsurprising. I am, however, fairly disappointed with that being the case.

And if you knew that the courthouse and the jury room are not the same physical structure and you knew me at all, you would likely come to the very true conclusion that I went to the wrong building first. *sigh* The funnest part is that I got to hold up the security line at the courthouse! Yay me! Good times!

I do wish that I had my camera here. But I don't. Because it was stolen. Grrrrr... If they call my number for this case, I hope they have a thief on trial. Partly so I can vote for conviction, but mostly so they can ask me if I would have any bias in the case so I could go home.

Seriously, CBN? I'm really starting to consider creating a trial of my own. If it's not a church/state violation of some sort, it's at least the inhumane treatment of jury workers.

Oh crap! They're calling people for the six day trial! I was like the third one called! I seriously don't want to come here for another week of sitting around being bored. Things may be different if trials were like the Anna Nicole thing or the Michael Jackson trial, or the trials on TV.

Wow, so I'm like juror #3! The only way out is to be excused at this point. Oh yeah and if I didn't mention it before, this is about a manslaughter charge with possibly a second victim! Although nobody was apparently mutilated at the scene of the accident, I guess we'll be seeing some autopsy photos during the trial if I stay. If I don't stay then I just can't say 'we'. So far, only voluntary cuts have been made and the defense attorney has been talking a little, probably trying to probe a little before asking us one-on-one questions.

Brainwaves...

I almost forgot... The other night I went to bed and my brain started making up goth poetry. By goth, I mean dark. Some of it was really good and I wish I could have written it down but if I had tried going to grab a pen then the fun would have been over and I probably wouldn't have been able to capture it anyway. Does this kind of thing happen to anyone else? My brain goes off in tangents thinking about random stuff fairly often but the whole poetry thing was kind of a shock.

Flippin' mouse!

I am actually kinda' pissed right now because I had to write that previous post twice! And it was f'n long! Grrrrr... I went to click on submit and I accidently clicked the side button on my mouse which flipped me back to the previous page and erased everything I had written! Why do they have to add perfectly useless buttons to a mouse that only seem to get clicked at the worst moment anyway?! It really annoys me that much more because the first version was better.

Great Wednesday!

I got to leave work 2 hours early yesterday! Yay! Too bad it was because I had an appointment with my cardiologist though. I actually like going to that doctor because there isn't anything actually wrong with me now, and I'm always the youngest and best looking guy in the place. haha When I was growing up, my annual checkups consisted of EKG's, X-Rays and blood tests. The EKG's were always kind of fun for me because I felt like I was the 6 Million Dollar Man undergoing bionics tests or something. haha The X-Rays were always kinda' freaky but I do miss that chalky goo they made me swallow for them. The blood tests are the one thing that I am happy are done with for sure though and I don't miss those at all! Nowadays my annual checkups are nothing more than a short conversation with the doctor and every other year I get a follow-up appointment for an echocardiogram which replaces the X-Rays and EKG in one shot. This year they are going to give my heart a stress test by giving me an evaluation on a treadmill. I tried to talk the scheduling person into letting me do the treadmill before the 'echo' but she didn't think I was funny. Now I have to make sure I don't skip any trips to the gym between now and then so I do well on the treadmill test. haha The nurse at my appointment said my blood pressure was "picture perfect". Yay! It's only surprising because I have the worst dietary habits north of the Mason-Dixon Line.

Well, when I was done with the doctor, rush-hour was in full swing and I was in a part of town I don't normally venture to. Since I was out that way, I decided it was a good idea to make the small trek out to my old neighborhood of 10 years. I wanted to go to a Mexican restaurant in my old neighborhood because the Mexican restaurants by my place just aren't as good. Dinner was fairly uneventful as the place was pretty empty. The dinner crowd hadn't arrived yet. After a couple of burritos and a couple of strawberry margaritas (I don't care if they're frou-frou, they're good!), I figured I'd stop by my old apartment complex to see what had changed.

Well, as luck would have it, my old apartment manager was still there. I went and talked to her and she gave me the rundown of highlights of the ten months since I moved out, who had come and gone and, of course, the drama. My old place wasn’t in the best area and I actually miss the police activity in and out of the apartment complex, the drunken neighbors fighting, the stripper beating up the schizophrenic prostitute, etc… Ahhhh, the memories. My new apartment is in a much nicer, quieter neighborhood but that means it’s also boring in this regard. When I first got there, my old apartment manager had thought that I was there to ask about my security deposit. I didn’t expect to get it back when I moved much less now. I didn’t clean my old place out at all before I left because the moving itself took way longer than I expected and I simply ran out of time. I have felt bad about leaving it like that ever since I moved because I knew that she would have to take care of it. If I end up getting my security deposit back then that was an unexpectedly good stop! I ended up talking to her for an hour and a half and I had only expected a quick hello, how’s it going, goodbye kinda’ deal so I had left my keys in my car with the battery on. I had car’s electronics, the fan, my radar detector, GPS and FM transmitter all running the whole time. Even at an hour and a half I didn’t expect any real consequences but sure enough… my battery was dead. My last friend in that area wasn’t home so I had to call my Dad to come out and jump-start my car. Fun! haha

My parents live fairly close and about 20 minutes later my Dad showed up and my car was up and running! He donated a set of jumper cables to me… I think that was only so I wouldn’t call him out next time. haha After that I went back to my parents house and helped him install Windows on an old computer that he had just reformatted the hard drive on and in the process got covered in the hair of their shedding golden lab. I also got the proceeds of an iPod case that I had accidentally ordered and that they sold on eBay for me. So I reclaimed the $20 bucks I has spent on dinner earlier that night!

My iPod Nano

Ok, well, I broke down and got myself a black 4gb iPod Nano... It's the first MP3 player I've owned and I think it is the greatest thing since sliced bread... Seriously... Except for one snafu with iTunes not recognizing it, it has performed beautifully for me. I have seriously had it running almost non-stop since I got it two weeks ago.

Overpriced? Probably.
Cool? Definately.
Would I buy it again? Absolutely.

Since it's the first MP3 player I've owned, I cannot comment on sound quality (though it sounds great to me) or really compare it to other products. I've heard good things about the Creative players as well.

Hello!

Welcome to my new blog... We'll see how it works out this time!