10/19/05 - In a very tired state after a sad series of events

Why do I have such an intense hatred of religion? Is it my natural distaste of authority and rules? Is it the long use of it to control the populous? Is it the feeling that it is a crutch for the feeble-minded? Is it the fact that it just doesn't make any sense to me? Is it the fact that it diminishes the great achievements of great people? I don't know the real answer and it is my thoughts that I am considering here. Let me take these points and expound upon them.

I have always had an issue of one sort or another with various forms of authority and the rules it sets and enforces. In short, I've never liked anyone else telling me what it is that I should and should not do no matter how much that particular rule makes sense. Just the thought of others making decisions for me sends chills down my spine and not in a good way. More like when you're walking down a dark, isolated road in the middle of the night after watching a horror movie and seeing someone unexpectedly walking towards you. Really creepy. It's kind of strange though since there aren't many rules that I ever go out of my way to break or feel that I'd even want to. This includes the rules established by the various religions of the world. I grew up in the Catholic church and I remember that it all seemed like a big game. I hated getting up early on Sunday morning but I also knew that there would be dough nuts after we put our hour of standing, kneeling and sitting exercises in. To this day I still don't 'get' the whole church service thing. You sit and chant, stand and sing the refrain of a really bad song, then listen to a sermon that if you're lucky sounds like a third-rate self-help book. I have no idea what the allure is here. All I can see is a waste of time, especially since I know I can get dough nuts whenever I want now.

I've heard countless testimonials to the power of religion and the way it has impacted people's lives. It seems to me that people just short-change themselves when they create something positive in their own lives. It reminds me of the story of Dumbo where he believes he can fly because of some magic item but it turns out that the item wasn't magic at all and that it was he alone who accomplished this amazing feat of flight. You can also count me among the people who find it amazing when an athlete thanks God for a victory, and yes, especially boxers. Nobody on the losing side ever blames God for not pulling through for them. Is it because only people who believe either ever win and apparently never compete against on another? And what about the great advances in science that everyone enjoys? Especially the advances in things such as medicine. Is it because of a lot of hard-working and dedicated researchers? Or did God wake up on the right side of the bed one too many times? Of course he probably could have just given us something like Penicillin 5,000 years ago... But then again, his current incarnation wasn't even made known until about what? 700 years ago? I guess God only thinks well-developed nations get access to plentiful supplies of these now and in some cases only then if you're wealthy as well. I'm glad I wasn't born 701+ years ago because then I wouldn't even get to choose to go to heaven through belief after I die. Of course it wouldn't make much difference in my case obviously anyway.